#cause I don't wanna ignore other art stuff entirely while I work on it
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Working on a short comic ❤️ trying some new stuff, and it might take a second, but so far so good!
#do not archive#cw suggestive#the magnus archives#tma#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#jmart#jonmartin#lewdemi#I'll try to keep y'all posted on progress#but fair warning it's gonna be slow#cause I don't wanna ignore other art stuff entirely while I work on it#and I am new to this format#if it isn't obvious‚ this whole thing can't go on here#but I'll have it on bluesky and probs ao3
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15 people, 15 questions
Tagged by @eriquin
1. Are you named after anyone?
Nope, definitely not...lol. I know I've asked before why they chose my name, but I don't honestly remember. I think it basically just boils down to, my mom saw the name in a baby book and liked it *shrugs* Y'know...since this was before every other goddamn person was named 'Kelsey' lmao
2. When was the last time you cried?
Um...not that long ago, honestly. Like...a day or so maybe? I don't know, haha. But like...really really cried...also probably not that long ago, but I don't know. I feel like anymore I cry pretty easy
3. Do you have kids?
Nope, and it's gonna stay that way. I'm more than happy to remain the cool aunt
4. What sports do you play/have played?
I never really played sports. I like...very briefly did volleyball, but didn't stick with it. And likewise I did also golf a bit for a while, 'cause my dad. But...he's also the reason I quit lmao So *shrugs*
5. Do you use sarcasm?
The urge to use sarcasm to answer this is strong, but...I shall refrain.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Eyes, I think.
7. What’s your eye color?
Blue.
8. Scary movies or happy endings?
I do enjoy scary movies, but I'm a sucker for happy endings.
9. Any talents?
....no? Not to be like...self-deprecating or whatever, but I really don't think so. Not like...the typical 'oh I'd show this off in a talent show' or something. I can....type fast...haha
10. Where were you born?
Illinois, USA
11. What are your hobbies?
I don't...really have any? That's not entirely true, but like...I don't know. I enjoy painting sometimes, but I just don't ever really have the...opportunity to do so anymore. Similar with reading.
12. Do you have any pets?
One cat, her name is Cocoa and she's very cute. She's also getting older, and it makes me so sad 'cause I feel like it won't be long til she's gone and then I won't have a cat anymore, and....I gotta stop thinking about it or I'll start crying ajdklf;
13. How tall are you?
5'4
14. Favorite subject in school?
Probably English. Not because I was ever super good at it (as you can probably tell), but I don't know...more the reading than the grammar of English. I did also take a class my freshmen yr of high school that was Creative Writing. I adored that class. And senior yr I had another class that was called Novels, also really loved that class. It actually got me back into liking to read books, so...it worked out that it was a class I did not sign up for, but got put in anyway, and I didn't want to ruin my schedule by switching to a different class. Sometimes laziness pays off ha
15. Dream job?
I...honestly don't know. Something that allows me to have as little interaction with others as possible ha. But yea...I really don't know. 'Cause like going back to painting. Let's say I got like...REALLY good at art, y'know. I...wouldn't want to make that a job I think. Similar to like...cooking. I can follow a recipe and stuff. I enjoy cooking/baking, but...I wouldn't want to do that for a job. I think it would suck all the enjoyment out of it for me. So I need something that I don't already like...super enjoy doing, so that I don't mind doing it but also so that it's not taking it away from me just...doing it in my spare time. ........yea I got nothing ha
Tagging: @zeldanoel @blowfishdiaries @theonevoice @runnerfivestillalive @moontosis @prideofyunmeng @thebandersnatchoftheshire @captainhaterade @sandraugiga @frumpybutsupersmart
Absolutely no pressure, if you don't wanna do this...totally fine, just ignore. And if you don't wanna be tagged in things like this for the future, just lmk I'm so sorry in advance. And also, if I didn't tag you, and you wanna do this...go for it! Just a bit of fun
#even though I'm terribly awkward#and I don't always know how to answer these things#I'm always so down to do them#I just get worried when it comes to tagging other people 'cause well...y'know haha#these are usually pretty fun though#kinda take me back to the earlier yrs when I feel like these were a lot more common
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excuse me for a moment, I'm about to go ballistic
Yes hello, me, me here, Bella, hi
I wanna rant about creating things with my characters
Not just like, the Wings of Fire ones, those are cool too but they've never felt like my own simply because they're FAN characters, I don't know how to explain that, I can imagine them but not like I can the people I've made in my head
I don't know how many of you guys have tried it before, tried the thing I do almost everyday, but just lying down and getting lost in someone else's story that only you know the beginning and end to, that's what making a story is like, and it's such an awesome feeling if you get to ignore all the other things in your own life. And not someone else's story as in not your own, that's fun to do as well, I do it with Wings of Fire all the time, but I mean someone else that YOU'VE made, their story, their mind
Everybody does this: lying down and listening to a certain song and either imagining yourself, a character, your character even? Perhaps? It's just great. I think that's part of the experience of MUSIC and then, of course, imagination and creativity in itself, that's just how it works, all the colors and how they go with the music. It's one of my favorite things to do and it's what made me learn how to animate because I realize I can physically create the wild scenes I see in my head and actually let someone else get to look at it. It's euphoric
There are these characters in my head that I know more than anybody, their tendencies and the way they sound, their favorite things and their darkest fears, and it's terrifying in a way to think that there's people who feel so real like that yet I'm the only one who's met them- met as in, made them, they're there in my brain, brain children (wait no that sounds gross)
I know the THEM that's all, there's all these little scenes that I use songs to help develop, develop the story and the emotions and what drives their motives just as much as my own. I want other people to know them as well
And it's horribly embarrassing in this weird way when I try to share that, or my story, or explain it to other people, because for some reason I can't bring myself to do it. It's surprisingly hard to briefly summarize a few months worth of things I relive over and over so I can just learn how to write it out on paper- and simply because of the sheer volume of it all. I'm already trying to proof read over this and I sound like I'm trying to be pretentous and I'm kinda going eeeee! You sound nuts!
That's the part that gets embarrassing about it, because I lay it out like it's an awesome story and such (MIGHT BE, key word, I don't know) you get all the crazy emotions waaa!!! look!! People FEELING!!
But because of how much there is I can't even begin to tell people about it. The reason I wanna tell people about them is because I want other people to get to feel the feelings I get to feel, again, all those scenes: the banter between fictional friends that makes me laugh in a way I wouldn't ever at anybody else's characters, the stark tension in a room between brothers who used to love each other, all the raw emotions that everyone has felt themselves, but sound dramatized when you try to talk about them- all things that finally after a while of pondering I realized
Nobody is ever gonna get to feel it the way I do unless I write it out, that's why I create art
Emotions are a major drive behind art and stuff and I think once people finally get that click about what that really means do they really understand their own passions. You can repeat that over and over and say it's about the feelings but it won't ever really finalize until YOU understand it. It- the phrase, and art- means something different for everyone. Everybody's got different motives but I think at the end of the day we just want people to understand what we're thinking about, just basic understanding, 'cause honestly, if I could I'd totally sit down in a room and explain the ENTIRE lore to my characters just so whoever is in there with me could- GET IT.
That's what a book is, and that's why I'm trying to write
cheers lmao
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u know u could put out the weirdest most fucked up shit and we would still love it. obviously don't share stuff if it makes u uncomfortable but for every single thing you find embarrassing there's something several times worse
i really hope ur ready to stand by these words b/c im about to tell you about.......showdog dogboy gordon. for five thousand fucking words
look. listen. hear me out. my dear kogo introduced me to an idea and it has not left my mind since: showdog......dogboy......gordon
like.........you know.......its about. dogboy. submitting while benrey dolls him up and makes him look nice. maybe hes been a lot......fuzzier since he got forcibly nintendogged. and maybe benrey cracks a joke about it, maybe the joke gets pulled out a little too far. b/c its the two of them, and thats what they do. its jokes. games. jokes being riffed upon and thinly-veiled dares being issued until gordon freeman finds himself standing awkwardly next to a grooming table in nothing but his underwear while benrey tells him to chill the fuck out. puts that collar on him. after all, he wants to look nice for his friend, right? they say a dog is mans best friend
this definitely would not be the first time a joke or a game went too far and they ended up fucking at the end of it, but this is......this is a whole level beyond. this is definitely, like. theres a Lot going on here. but neither of them are breaking character yet so
and. you know. if youre feeling really insane. like me. if youre feeling just fucking diseased. you can make benrey.......pretty big here. make gordon dogy-sized next to him. not like, tiny, but enough that gordon, ordinarily a Big Guy, feels......small. a little emasculated
and.....yknow. gordon could be collared and chained to the table. like a real dog. not a lot of slack on that thing. and maybe hed be.......muzzled, too. if hes the kind of dogboy that gets snippy at scissors
its really good also for.....benrey being fully clothed and gloved up while gordons almost entirely bare. i know dog groomers dont strictly have to wear gloves. but still. not that it was really going to stop me if he wouldnt actually have a reason to wear gloves. i would make him anyway b/c ive lost all dignity
ITS ABOUT. THE HORNY FUCKING GAME. like they could talk about it if, if they wanted, if they were normal about it, b/c in this scenario they have absolutely fucked it out before (b/c i cant imagine any other fucking way gordon freeman acquiesces to this unless hes Aware that theres gonna be dick touching involved), but they are not normal and they are not going to break kayfabe even if it kills them
and like......i think the muzzle thing is......good. its really really good. b/c benrey can get real fuckin mean and tell him that hes gonna have to be a good boy and keep his teeth to himself if he wants it off so that benrey can make him look less like shit
those new canines of his are awful pointy. is gordon sure he can handle it? can he get a grip on his dogy side for fucking long enough to let benrey take a straight razor to his face? of course he can, he thinks, b/c hes not a fucking dog, okay, hes still a guy, and hes here to prove it and just. behave. while benrey manhandles him and grooms him and brushes out his fur and files his fucking nails. hes not in thrall to his instincts whether they be animalistic or vulgar. and hes definitely not going to cave and ask benrey to touch his fucking dick while he does this
> i enjoy the thought of benrey posing gordon as he pleases but never directly touching him, lifting his leg to get under his upper thigh or stretching the skin of his belly taut as not to nick him. so concentrated on gordon but feigning ignorance to his building arousal, ignoring it
> that art jordan did where gordon is on the table and has the collar on. his chest is shaved into the shape of a heart and that made me so DFUCKING CRAZY I STARTED BARKING AND SNARLING AKLSJAKDJFS
YEAH.....ITS......its shaved into a heart on purpose. and i left that in the first version i posted but nobody said anything about it so i just whistled and walked away
> LIKE. the emasculation of it....the fucking. possesiveness. theres also an undercurrent of like tenderness to it that made me fucking go apeshit
its such a fucking power move too. like. thats not gonna grow out for awhile. every time gordon freeman looks in the mirror for the next few weeks hes gonna be reminded of how fuckin debased he was
just..............consider........the trust hed have to put in benrey for it........benrey holding gordons jaw very firmly in his hand and showing him the straight razor and being like "yo.......uhh......this things sharp. dont wanna make a mess......better, better sit real fuckin still. sit boy. dont move." and sitting rigidly after benrey says something like that while tilting his jaw up to look directly athim is one of the hardest things gordons done in his life. hes sweating and hes making himself dizzy by trying not to breathe too much
he can just......he can see exactly where gordons jugular is fluttering madly under the razor and where gordons adams apple bobs as benrey skims stubble off his throat and rest assured that benrey is getting off on this just as much as gordon is
big......big hands on his face.....turning him every which way.......running his thumb over the clean line of his jaw to feel the results..........i think its just, its a cool scenario. to think about. but instead of this being just a normal "gordon freeman gets shaved" scenario, hes half naked and chained to a table and also has dog ears for some fucking reason
but also this is just like......his face. its the "trimming him everywhere" thats the really fun part
> like...the moving down his body....touching almost clinically by moving part of him around to get everything...yknow....
casual.....clinical.......nervewracking to be on the receiving end of
> thinking about him having to restrain his horny is fun, but it’s especially fun when you think about how he’d spend hours like that, hard and dripping, since friend benrey wants to be so through
> YES CLINICAL, ALMOST INDIFFERENT
fucking. hours. of just laying there anxiously running his mouth and laughing and gasping when benrey moves him like its nothing or touches him somewhere that makes him jump......like.......benrey with something whirring as loudly as those clippers in his hand doesnt exactly inspire confidence......but hes weirdly good at what hes doing and hes got a broad palm flat on gordons stomach to hold him in place/get him to chill out......but it just makes gordon sweat and flush and hes trying so hard to stay still b/c benrey keeps demeaning him when he squirms too much......like, what, is he scared? thinks benreys gonna cut his other arm off with a pair of hair clippers? get real. calm down maybe.
but thats not really the reason why hes acting weirdly ticklish about the whole procedure. (its because of the Scenario, man. gordons trying so hard to be normal in the face of the awareness that this is one of the most insane things hes ever gotten hard for, but we all know how strung out this dude gets at even relatively normal shit. so much so that benrey will just stare at him blankly and ask "uhhh, stop moving please? thank you?" b/c gordons so handsy ordinarily and he keeps trying to move his hands when he talks)
> listen. what if he....absentmindedly like...pet. him. on the stomach. just doing the motion cause it soothes normal dogs so when he feels gordon squirming he strokes heavily down. repetitive...but hes not even focusing on that, hes like intent on getting the part hes trimming just right gordon freezes up and stops breathing for a second to flush all over. benrey’s hand is so hot on his stomach, and he can only focus on how good it feels,
> squirmy because he feels like he’s gonna die if his dick doesn’t get touched and all his instincts are screaming to disobey and hump benrey into the ground (not like he physically can with the restraints but)
eventually benreys gonna have to get down to brass tacks and shave and trim all of him
> and like the whole time. the whole goddamn time gordons just in his boxers absolutely throbbing with it and like. benrey's hand moves to his stomach and like the waistband of his boxers. yeah. all of him.
can you imagine. gordon freeman desperately trying not to be horny while his best friend kneels between his legs and hooks those fingers in his waistband and starts peeling them off and completely fucking failing at it but hes still gotta try, right. whether hes cis or trans this idiot is so horny that his underwear is just. ruined
> i still cant stopr thinking abt. in the pictures you drew jordan. the way benrey is. delicately touching gordons dick/pussy to get a better angle for shaving
Y. YEAH. ITS POTENT. IMO. gordon having to pretend like hes not fucking horny in the slightest while benrey just kind of clinically moves his dick around and laughs at him when it twitches......ITS A LOT.
> the amount of willpower gordon is exercising not to fuck up into benrey’s palm when he’s loosely holding his dick to shave all the hair around it is honestly impressive
hes trying so fucking hard. hes shaking. look at him. tail thumping weakly against the table
just......like......i was thinkin about benrey getting gordon stripped bare while he stammers and rambles because he is so very fucking turned on right now and hes so embarrassed by this that he just stares firmly at the ceiling and humiliates himself ranting about how its a totally normal response and plenty of guys get erections during prostate exams and benrey has no idea what the fuck hes talking about
> this was th. part. ...benrey ignoring his boner and his rambling like "yeah alright. stay still for this part though for real" and gets to work. gordon absolutely mortified but hes breathing real shallow cause he doest want to get nicked here of all places so. and benrey placing a hand on his thigh to push them open further so that he can get a better angle and gordon's leg shakes. its quiet until benrey says to himself "'youre bein still. 's good." and gordon's dick visibly twitches at that and he shuts his eyes quickly and turns his face away. also i was still thinkin,,,,bout how the little praise straight up goes to gordon's head and his tail might also thump a lil faster on the table.
> would benrey notice? probably. maybe not say anything at first but just let a real evil smirk spread on his face, laughing a little. and then say lowly when hes focused on his work, "really like that huh. lil dogboy. you like being good?" and gordon lets out a harsh breath, stomach jumping. doesnt respond but his tail moves even faster. benrey's wrist brushes the head of his dick and he lets out a small sound, which turns strangled then he actually takes his hand and presses his dick to the side so he can get right below his stomach. its detached, hes just holding it pressed to the crease of his hip, but gordon's dick throbs under his palm and dribbles precome against the gloved fingers
> Okay, so, part of the grooming process is, of course, bathing the dog. And luckily, Benrey has a wonderful tool to help him with this. A hand-held shower hose with a lovely little shower head with very nice settings to help our little showdog get... clean.
> Imagine, if you will: Gordon, on all fours and chained up to keep him upright as Benrey slowly, methodically, wets him down. Lathers him up. Works his hands all over his body, from tail tip to the top of his head. Massaging into his belly. Rubbing inside his thighs. Cleaning every part of him. Every part.
> And the shower head occasionally dips down, pulsing, right to a sweet spot between Gordon’s legs, the closest thing he’s got to attention the entire time they’ve been playing this game. He’s so close, so GODDAMN close to getting what he wants, but every time Benrey realizes he’s getting somewhere... ... He moves it. To spray his back. His head. His chest. Anywhere but where Gordon wants it.
> Gordon is shaking. His legs are trembling, the table is wet and slick. He’s having such a hard time staying up on all fours, he’s panting and begging and losing his footing and EVERY TIME he loses his footing, well, the collar and chain choke him and force him right back up. And Benrey is just watching. Grinning.
> Waits for him to get his composure.
> And does it again.
just......like.......jesus. gordon would be. shaking. his whole body. panting like a dog. trying so hard to stay still. but he keeps trying to spread his legs wider when benrey reaches his thighs and he keeps slipping and accidentally choking himself and hes nearly at the breaking point trying to keep himself together but benrey runs a big, warm hand along his side and makes a passing comment on what a good boy hes being and gordon almost fucking yells from how overwhelmed he gets
i want gordon freeman fucking obliterated. i want him to suffer first from benrey jerking him around and then being made to jerk himself around, trying and failing to keep his shit together.....and when benrey tells him sumn like, hey no, dont lay down........even if your arms and legs are shakin, you gotta stay up bro.......its so fuckin demeaning and gordon just spits out "im trying!" and benrey buries his free hand in gordons hair like hes gonna tug in retaliation, but instead he just scratches gordons scalp in a way that feels really fucking good and asks "you gonna bite? huh? gonna bite me? when im treatin you so nice......jeez, man" and that takes him back from the brink a little
hes just always keeping gordon on his toes. switching settings. dragging it out and making gordon shake from head to toe, sometimes putting on one of those real powerful pulsing jets to overstimulate him and make gordon yelp and just work him up into a trembling mess struggling to stay upright. snarling in ugly frustration when benrey yanks the showerhead away just as gordons starting to Get There. it feels like it must have been hours that hes been being bathed like this and teased from occasional glancing sprays with the waterhead to direct stimulation while benrey chuckles at him and just blandly comments "youre shaking." and gordon stammers out hotly "of course im fucking shaking, you keep fucking with me and i just wanna--" and benrey takes him by the chin and makes gordon look up at him and says, laughing at him under his breath, "dogs dont talk, bro"
ike.......at this point u might think "surely thats enough. throw the guy a bone." and that maybe, now, gordon freeman will get his dick touched like he deserves. you owuld be wrong. benreys not done here. gordons gotta come down from that table, get toweled off. and when benrey unclips that leash from the table, gordon just fucking collapses. his arms and legs cant really hold him up right now......hes being strung out like a violin, drawn to maximum tautness before being let go all at once just before he snaps.
and this is where benrey plays a little nice.......dries him off and blowdries him a little, brushing out his hair and his tail. hes committed to the bit, okay? he said he was gonna make his best bro look nice, so hes gonna make gordon look nice. this whole time hes letting gordon come back down.....and its......its kind of frustrating, if benreys just gonna decide to leave him like this and drag him outta here and call that the end of the game, but its not the worst thing in the world right now. for the first time in hours hes not being asked to do something. he doesnt even really have to move his own arms and legs.
but No. hes still not done. theres something theyre forgetting........gotta clip your nails, bro. its the last thing on benreys docket, and gordons embarrassed for a different (but taxonomically similar) reason. all the personal attention and the bizarre intimacy of it makes gordons mouth start running, just to get his mind off it. pretend to be normal! surely thats gonna work when the guy who nearly gave him a nervous breakdown from being edged and toyed with beyond belief is now at his feet, filing nails and running curious thumbs over the tendons and muscles. benreys almost more lost in it than gordon is at this specific point. (hes been doing nothing but jerking gordon around and its hard work. he deserves this.)
gordons been good. really fuckin good. didnt even nip his fingers. benreys best friend deserves a treat.
> look. hes been so fucking good the whole time. not moving and not touching himself, not breaking the tension they have with each other, staying so still. i think he deserves something nice. but like gordon doesnt expect it, he expects to just be jerked around and let go. benrey tells him to stay on the table and he complains about it like "im done now. you. you said we were done" but benrey comes back with a fresh pair of gloves and gordon tenses until benrey places a hand on his chest and tells him to calm down. he was good. rubs at his chest and stomach, slowly pushing him down onto the table while gordon squeaks when benrey parts his legs. hes mostly soft now but he hears benrey doing something and then rubbing a slick finger around his hole and he lets out a little "oh god. oh god. " that turns into a moan when he presses in.
> gordon's calmed down a bit but its goddamn embarrassing how quickly he gets wet again, dick throbbing a little. and i think. hm. i think it would be very fun to do overstimulation in this way now too since hes been edged so much that hes actually fucking desperate to come
> i think he should be be fingered until he howls and comes like 3-4 times. he's finally finally getting what he wants i dont know if he would know what to do. hes probably embrassed as all fuck from the way he acted that whole time, but when he starts getting fingered all that stuff just blanks from his mind and its so, so hard for him to not just chase that feeling and whore himself out. the opportunities for whoredon dialogue when hes that desperate are like saying shit hes cant even think about like "god - please f- fuck." and benrey's only got one finger in him but hes so wet already that benrey tries a second and it slips in easily. he crooks his fingers and gordon fucking keens, thighs shaking.
the fuckin. the agony in his voice when hes hoarsely begging benrey "do not stop do not fucking stop i cant take it" and just. slamming his fist into the table and being so fucking loud, oh my god, this guy is loud
> the thought of how loud he would be crazed me im just. just. him laying on the fucking table, eyes shut tight and moaning high and loud while he pulls tightly on his own hair, clenching hard around benrey's fingers
i think it would just be cool if. uhh. the thing that finally breaks gordon. gets him to just Let Go. is benrey catching him trying to choke back his words and his sounds and just laughs at him, like, "this is the easy part man. you wanna be a good dog? better, uhh.....better beg. cmon, boy. beg." and gordons hips jerk and the subsequent praise he gets when he actually does it makes him just.......snap.......Bye
> and what if.......benrey doesnt remove them as gordon comes down from that. he just waits a few seconds while gordons still panting and then scissors them and wrings a strangled sound out of gordon, whos hips move down again. and the heat starts building again in his gut and he cant even get out full sentences anymore, just bits and pieces while he fucks onto benrey's fingers. m. maybe benrey's growling out shit like "thats it, cmon. been good for me all fuckin day. you want more?" and gordon nods his head without even looking but he hears a thump and sees benrey kneeling between his thighs and he. licks up from where his fingers are to his clit and he just seals his mouth on it and sucks and that makes gordon come a second time, thighs clamping shut around benrey's ears.
i just......i lvoe......overstim.......and i think gordon freeman should have his pussy eaten until he cannot fucking take it anymore
maybe......even.......maybe after gordon comes a second time. benrey doesnt stop sucking and licking. at first it seems like benreys just working him thru the orgasm, but then he just keeps going. and gordons sensitive, hes too fucking sensitive, each time benreys tongue swipes over him he jerks and tries to close his legs. frantically gasping that he did it, okay, he got gordon off, voice getting high and broken, but benrey just pulls back and looks at him flatly and then very deliberately. spreads his legs wider in one swift movement. and pins them with his big fucking hands. and just looks him in the eye and says "i know, dude" and puts his mouth right back on gordon anyway. and gordons legs twitch like fucking mad but benreys so strong and he cant move and hes slamming his fist on the table again from how overwhelming it is, tears prickling in the corner of his eyes, howling into the open air how benreys killing him, hes fuckin killing him, why does he like jerking gordon around so much........and benrey glances up and breaks the seal of his mouth around gordons dick and mutters something about how he must not be doin his job if gordons still talking
i want him to howl wordlessly with frustration and grab benreys hair and yank him closer as gordon rounds the corner from "the agony of getting sucked off when hes hyper-sensitive" to "the agony of chasing yet another orgasm". i want this dude to be tonguefucked until he wails!!! I Want Him Ruined. meat: massacred. pussy: destroyed. i think it would be cool if gordon freeman was wailing at him for more, dont stop, benrey, until benreys got two big fingers back in him and is squeezing in a third alongside them and hes so fucking tight from having just come twice in a row, but the groan gordon lets out when its finally inside him is so guttural and low it makes benrey blink and shiver
and i think that for the grand finale benrey should smash that dogboy pussy. thanks for coming to my TED talk
hes been going thru this shit for hours. taking his time to really screw gordon freeman up good. and its been so fuckin worth it just to hear all the fun new sounds gordon made (cuz of him, he reminds himself). benreys been awkwardly adjusting his dick in his pants for way too fucking long, and gordons been watching him do it. staring at it. saliva collecting at the corner of his mouth. he was achingly hard the whole time he was giving gordon a glorified pedicure. and he didnt even ask to shift forward from where he was kneeling to let the arch of gordons foot press against his dick. its been just as hard for benrey to keep control and stick to the rules of the game as it has been gordon, and this dude oughta get to crush mad pussy okay
> the thought of this is kinda making me insane actually so. im just. h. im just thinking about how it would go down like. augh. i think that gordon would be shaking from his third consecutive orgasm but like. he can keep going. and he finally gets a moment to breathe and look at benrey whos just a mess. hair messed up where gordon gripped it, red faced, mouth dripping with his own drool and gordon's slick and hes remembers like. this guys so fucked up over this, god. and hed been thinking about his dick the whole time, even though he thought he wasnt gonna get anything out of it for a while. hes been wanting it. and so like like he doesnt want to play any more games. hes been good he deserves this.
> benrey's still got three fingers in him so he kind of just pushes him back and breaths out "fuck me". benrey's actually absolutely dazed from everythin and has to process it like "huh. wh" but gordons like "just fucking do it, cmon. im not gonna say it again" and benrey finally actually registers it like. "y-yeah. okay." and he barely has any time to think before gordon's hauling him up onto the table. starts fumbling to get his pants and shirt off and gordons practically tearing at his clothes which doesnt fucking help. letting out little growls maybe like "fucking. jerking me around this whole time fuck you. can see how much you wanted it" and they finally manage to get them off and gordon pulls him on top and ruts against him. its finally now clicking for benrey that fuck. this is actually happening and he pushes into him with a low sound and gordon's thighs and tail go still and taut until he bottoms out. gordon's fucking panting and clenches down on him and they both let out a little sound and benrey starts fucking into him slow. but cmon. this dudes been pent up the whole goddamn time. its barely any time before hes gripping gordon's hips and fucking up into him fast and hard, hips slapping against gordon's at a desperate pace. he probably tries to make it last but he cant, hes been edging himself too long. im going to fucking die see ya everybody
thinking about just how fuckin bad benreys legs would shake from the effort of pushin in reaaalll slow b/c gordons so fucking tight after having gotten off 3 times in a row.......trembling from the effort of trying to hold himself back......and gordons nails digging into the back of his neck and dragging down his back to leave long red furrows behind....... gordons eyes screwed tightly shut while the only thought on repeat in his head is "oh my god hes big hes so fucking big" and he can barely fuckin speak
> like yeah he had three fingers in him but this is so goddamn much. thinking about...gordon's hands clawing into back involuntarily from the stretch, letting out little cut off pants while his legs shake a little from it. i just. like the thought of his tail pointing out stiffly and trembling too. the absolutely wrecked sound he would let out when he bottomed out, all of that tension kind of leaving him in a drawn out deep moan. benrey shifts just a little to get a better grip on gordon's thighs and it causes him to yelp a little cause its so fucking much just from that movement.
> benrey's trying not to move but his hips are twitching from holding himself back and gordons letting out little. sounds that are making him insane. he pulls out just a little and that makes gordon let out a whine. and when he pushes back in gordon lets out breathless "fuck!" like its been punched out of him. even going this slowly is making him fucking shake like a leaf. hes squeezing his eyes shut tight heaving deep breaths, chest rising and falling fast. hes so full be can barely think. and benrey's just fucking stupid with cumbrain and hes saying all kinds of filthy shit like "h - fucking - so fucking good for me. so good. nnh. best. best friend -" and that makes gordon let out a whine. the praise has been getting to him the whole time and just. again with the loaded phrase of best friend. like the possesiveness of that. that combined with the near-overstimulation of getting filled makes him actually kind of lose it. his thighs clamp around benreys hips and his toes curl and pulls benrey's hips forward to make him thrust into him, so he stop going slow. bye. goodbye
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(WARNING SENSITIVE INFO WILL BE DISCUSSED OR GIVEN. IF YOU CANNOT HANDLE INFO REGARDING SELF-HARM OR BULLYING I’D ADVISE YOU NOT TO READ ON. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED)
Hello, everyone, I’d like to share somethings that have urked me and outright surprise me when getting deeper and deeper into this whole shebang cause honestly, this is too much to NOT notice. If you're wondering what I am talking about I am referring to all the stuff I found out about Viv and the fact that she never truly seemed sorry for what she's done to said people based on what I have found out and what she's said in recent years.
Now you all may say "G, she said she's sorry and that's that. Don't bring up things that happened years ago or have been resolved." and look, man, I'd leave it alone if it was CLEAR that she was truly a person of her word, wasn't a hypocrite, and didn't cause 3 people to be suicidal and cause/know of witchhunts that she KNOWS happened and/or wanted to happen. You guys can like her all you want and defend her, but be sure they are good defenses, understand WHERE I am coming from, and be mindful of what I am saying. Don't just ignore everything she did just cause you THINK she's super nice or because she's your idol.
I will also emphasize that I wish for NO ONE to send any unnecessary hate or anything of the like to Viv. You don't stoop to someone else's level just cause they did some bad crap. I just wanted to say any of this, loud and clear, cause its straight facts that shouldn't be buried just cause she wants to hold onto her image the best she can. That isn't at all fair to those victims who have been wronged and had their names tainted over her destructive and mean-spirited hypocritical behavior. AGAIN DO NOT ATTACK VIV AND DON'T THINK ME CALLING HER OUT IS A REASON TO HATE HER. We can be better than her in terms of handling things. Do not also think me calling her out shouldn't have been done JUST CAUSE you don't wanna hear it or not. If you don't wanna see it, you don't have to read it.
with that being said, LET'S DISSECT.
S T A R V A D E R
First I have to start off relaying to you guys what Starvader had stated at the beginning of the document so you'll get a jist of why she even spoke up in the first place.
"I type this document with no malicious intent only my personal thoughts on how I feel recently about the situation since its been on my mind well every day now since 2013. At least five years I’ve had thoughts below as to my personal experience of meeting an ex idol and why sometimes meeting your idol isn’t the best approach. For me, that ex idol is Vivienne Medrano creator of Zoophobia and Hazbin Hotel. I’m not aiming to defame this creator nor do I think people should stop liking their work or stop supporting them. If you like their work there is nothing wrong with that but I will refuse to silence myself any longer due to how much this rarely leaves my mind and tends to come up. This has been a situation swept under the rug and most would probably state ‘ well why are you bringing all this up now it was so and so years ago you guys squashed this etc etc “ that being the case, sorry doesn’t fix emotional trauma that comes up frequently during depressive episodes and comments do tend to stick to people in a certain way. Apology or not, words have a heavy weight to them."
I put this here even though I will be putting a link to her doc because people will most likely not read or press the link and just act as if Starvader wanted blood. No, she stated her mind and was clear when saying she wanted no harm done to Viv.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vRX8VEoTS7Xot7D9u5i7MMEgtT44mNEtgpl4FY7QDZCA7ZY2j-CTJF7Uw_JwSJ6WUQNVvaTQv60Igte/pub
In this link It tells anyone who comes across it what she and some others mentioned here had to go through when being compared by Viv, wanting to do what's right and still being "called out" and bullied while getting hate sent to them, and having been told how her dreams would never ever be achieved and that she should practically give up, how she put friends against one another, etc. It showcases screenshots of these examples.
It all began with the accusation of art theft. The very thing she played the victim in with someone else. I'm sure some of you old-time fans of Viv know who this person was and are aware of the beef they had with one another. After reading Starvader's Doc, I want you to look at the post Vivziepop made to defame someone known as
D O L L C R E E P
This may be a throwback to you and you all may have thought this person was abusive. I won't say that they did absolutely nothing wrong since they themselves have said they did some wrong in the situation, but I will say that one was more of a problem starter than the other.
http://web.archive.org/web/20151008172207/http://enoughisenough-dollcreep.tumblr.com/post/125101370456/my-experience-with-dollcreep
Notice in this post that the very things she did to Starvader she said DollCreep did to her and how she tries and paint DollCreep as this SEVERELY abusive person. Hell even in Starvader's document you'll see that DollCreep told SV that he talked with Viv about the whole thing regarding SV and Viv and she apparently listened at the time. Not to mention that the screenshots Viv put in that post were either take(very possibly) taken out of context or not even bad to begin with (though his reply about the face thing was odd and shouldn't have been addressed b but due to circumstances, I think that's why he was so cautious). I don't know DC like that, but this kinda makes me feel as though he wasn't a bad person Viv makes him out to be and more her trying to destroy his image ENTIRELY for her benefit, cause till this very day she still calls him an abuser and someone she doesn't want to meet again.
if you continue on into the post she made, you'll see that she has made characters, EERILY SIMILAR to DC's, some WAY MORE than others. SV was willing to change some of the designs and even wanted to stop, Viv, however, seemed to take great offense over such an accusation and took to social media to make her frustrations known. SV kept this hidden from 2013 to 2018.
Oh btw, if you read the doc you'll see that SV wanted to commit suicide. DC actually attempted it. The cyberbullying ran that deep and it ANGERS me.
here’s what someone who saw the sitch had to say.
https://web.archive.org/web/20170619163024/http://dcs-personal-blog.tumblr.com/
can find everything here regarding what DC said about the sitch. You guys DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HURT THIS PERSON. It actually pisses me off that people even attacked DC and blindly believed Viv. It’s Johnny Depp’s situation all freaking over again
Here’s the picture of Viv saying that he was abusive, completely ignoring her behavior, and knowing hate would be sent to DC. Again won’t say that DC was completely innocent but damn man, was this necessary? DC even said that they talked it out and everything
https://vivziepop.tumblr.com/post/179705403534/im-only-going-to-say-this-once
Don’t even get me started on the whole character credit fiasco that Viv refused to properly fix.
https://krieg-was-taken.tumblr.com/post/101438542866/dollcreep-kibadoglover45-dollcreep-even
Look at this as well.
https://web.archive.org/web/20200104224648/https://tyacutie123.tumblr.com/post/125800399071/beware-of-abusive-artist
it mentions SV again, but it also brings into light a parody character meant to mock DC during all of this drama.
https://killapunk.tumblr.com/post/125896144245/dcs-personal-blog-enoughisenough-dollcreep/amp
DollCreep does the same thing back and is treated like the enemy. Hypocrisy at its finest.
now, most of you guys will be saying that this all happened in the past. It’s over, some will say, She’s changed (some of you may even say that these people deserve it. Yes people actually have said stuff like this to me or others) but here’s the problem, She still pulls crap like this to ruin people or to make others feel stupid. Just last year she was laughing with JaneGumball (who APPARENTLY made up with the victim) saying that she deserves it for being rude when the girl just said her opinion and was still a fan of Viv at the time, meaning she didn’t even mean to hurt Viv’s feelings and, hear me out, even if she did WHY FIND HER CYBERBULLYING FUNNY AND JUSTIFIED OVER AN OPINION? What sort of logic is that? That’s GREATLY immature and unnecessary, especially for someone her age (She’s 27 or 28 guys while the victim was 15, come on man!)
and I’m sure some of you know what happened with the person who made a meme regarding HH and other animated cartoons.
She’s VERY MUCH AWARE THAT THEY WERE ATTACKED....and this is how she responds....wow O K A Y.
So no, she didn’t actually change because she most likely didn’t think she had to. People kept supporting her thus making her believe that what she did was correct. Oh and Faust is practically Viv as well. (As seen by the SV doc and this tweet thread)
https://twitter.com/melonbea/status/1206994000563068930?s=19
Hell Viv seemed to ignore this too, as well as a lot of shipping drama if it involves a specific ship, but I won’t delve too deep into that subject since I am not very aware of the things that go down in that side of the fandom.
and there’s this
https://afraidofmonsters-headcanons.tumblr.com/post/188662798256/so-lets-talk-about-this-blog-the-fandom-and-viv
and this
https://historia-kq.tumblr.com/post/190882421127
I’d advise you guys to hear these things out.
Oh and Viv is the type to be a Hypocrite regularly,
https://twitter.com/VivziePop/status/613097846603026433?s=19
I could send you all the screenshots of her tweets but that should be another post on its own cause THERE IS A LOT. Like her Cancel Culture tweet, that tweet where she said, and I quote, “The hypocrisy is strong” back in 2014, November 29th. That time she had a thread of tweets saying, and I quote “never let someone dictate your value as an artist! Never seek the approval of someone else and conform to what they say you should do!” Despite doing this to StarVader.
If you guys want screenshots I can either personally DM or make a post showing her hypocrisy. Cause honestly this is rather, dare I say it, TOXIC. She’s manipulated people and has used them when they don’t abide by her rules or make a mistake that could have been resolved privately, she attacks and it’s saddening. I am TIRED of people getting hurt by her and I am tired of her abusing her power. If she wants to change I am COMPLETELY DOWN for that, but change starts when you want it. You can’t say sorry and expect people not to see past the lies or see that you obviously didn’t change. Sorry should mean what it means, feeling regret or penitence, but if you don’t at all exhibit these things then how are we supposed to believe that you are at all sorry for anything you’ve done currently AND in the past? I mean damn dude did you guys even know what happened to the cosplayer that Viv was mad about?
https://boricua-moonbakery.tumblr.com/post/616407364553310208
Now look, if you like Viv’s content, that’s your choice. I for one very much do like some fan content that i’ve stumbled onto and find some very creative and my cup of tea and while I’m not a huge fan of HH I still very much find the premise very creative. What I do if a creator of something is majorly sketch or strange I simply seperateb the content from the creator. I simply wanted to point out things many peeps don’t know about and any person who is a fan of Viv, I hope you’d at least understand WHY I am at all saying anything I am saying. I want there to be justice but I want things to be fair. I don’t want Viv to get hurt, but I want her to actually learn from her mistakes. I am not here to discourage you from anything, it’s your choice if you choose to stay and I will not judge you for it. I am a girl who SIMPLY wants people to be more aware of who exactly Vivienne Medrano is. She’s mistreated both fans of HH and ZP and it boggles me.
If you guys want more info, like her tweets that I mentioned, just message me.
END OF DISSECTION
#hazbin hotel#vivziepop#vivziemind#vivziepop drama#vivziemind drama#vivienne medrano#vivienne medrano drama#cyberbullying#hypocrisy#Trigger warning#tw#content warning#vivziepop critique
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Hey I feel bad if you're getting hate, I honestly wanted to send a writing thing but I was like eh you don't wanna hear from me. But anyways what if like there were these two artists. One did photography and the other was a painter and they argued about which was better and eventually they find out they like each other because the photographer has secret pictures of the painter painting and the painter has painted the other while they were working. Hope that's decent.
Hey I made this Giles because you literally cannot stop me. Also sorry this took ten years.
Title: In the Eyes of the Beholder
Pairing: Geoff/Miles
Word count: 3,874
Rating: E, some cursing
There was always one person in your circle of friends that you just could not bring yourself to like. One person at least that you kept at an arm’s distance for their personality alone. For Miles, that person was Geoff. Among his found collective of artists, he met a variety of different creators that he would have never even known existed if not for the wonders of the internet. There was Kerry, a sculptor. Mariel did murals and graffiti art. Then of course there was Lindsay, a knitter, Michael, a cake maker with the most beautiful designs. Mica danced and Matt was a digital artist, Barbara designed clothes and Kyle wrote. All of them made such amazing, creative, inspiring things that in their own special way, affected Miles’ own photography work in positive ways.
Then there was fucking Geoff.
The first time Miles met said ‘fucking Geoff’ was at their first face-to-face meeting after weeks of talking with one another on a local forum started by Mariel to reach out to new fellow artists. Her original intention was to meet street artists, specifically. But instead, she was pleasantly surprised at the diversity of talent she brought together. Not a single one of them had the same talent. Everyone was so varied in what they not only considered art, but how they expressed that interpretation. It began a lot of discussions, it unified a group that would otherwise not talk to one another. Miles was proud to be a part of it.
Miles never liked Geoff much in internet form. He was a painter, and one that hardly took his own skill seriously, so why would he bother thinking much about anyone else’s? Well, that wasn’t exactly true… he was always quick to compliment Mica’s videos, Lindsay’s new knitting projects, Kerry’s realistic looking busts. But he never had anything to comment on with Miles’ pictures. What was the deal with that!? Miles wasn’t usually the type to take offense to ‘ghosting’ on the internet. But serious, what the hell!?
He got his answers at their first meeting. The coffee shop. The first time he ever laid eyes on Geoff’s stupid face which had probably the bluest eyes he’d ever seen, but that was beside the point. Those eyes belonged to a horrible, ignorant man. A fraud of an artist. An absolute dick.
They all dragged a couple high tables together to accommodate for their large party. Some people he immediately recognized, like Mica, who showed her face in her dance videos. Some people he had no idea on. Was that the elusive Kerry, elusive sculptor extraordinaire who turned scrap metal into one of the most haunting modern pieces of the decade? Was he sitting next to Matt, who knew his way around a muted fall color palette like nobody’s business? Everyone recognized Mariel, she posed with all her work in her pictures of it. Everyone mumbled out introductions amongst themselves. The man next to Miles turned out to be Michael, not Matt. He gave Miles a shoulder shove and spoke in a loud, matter-of-fact voice.
Miles was interested in the man with the blue eyes and the tattoos all over his arms. He sat across from Miles and kept glancing back at him. Each time he looked over, Miles felt his heart pound. Something about those eyes, he’d love to get a few pictures of the man. Maybe a number, a dinner date that ends at someone’s place, a marriage proposal and-
“Alright guys! Looks like everyone’s here! Time for the formal introductions.” Mariel stood from her seat and turned to her left, motioning to a blonde woman with a smile. Yeah, Miles wouldn’t mind a date with her, either! What’s her name? “We’ll start with you.”
“I’m Barbara, hi. I’m Blawndee on the forum. I see some of you are even wearing my designs today, so that’s really neat.” Barb! Wow, Miles had no idea Barb was hot. Why didn’t he wear anything she made for him today? Stupid move! He definitely blew all his chances with Barb the second he didn’t wear one of her shirts. Oh well, there was always tattoo man…
Next to Barb was Lindsay, also really cute. Miles was smart enough to wear a Lindsay-made scarf. Then came Kyle, cute. Matt, cute. Mica, who was really cute and laughed at the end of a lot of her sentences nervously which only made her more cute. He’d met Michael already and that left…
Oh, he was next. Oh. Social anxiety was suddenly haunting him. He stood from his seat, looking on at all his friends. Talented, wonderful friends who were also all far too attractive for his liking. “Um. Hello! I’m Miles, lunatic24 on the forum. And I’m the photographer!” He held up the camera looped around his neck for effect. Across the table, he heard a snort.
A snort!?
Nobody else got a snort!
Miles looked towards the direction of the snort, as did the rest of the group. All eyes laid on the tattooed man fidgeting in his seat. He did move around a lot, and cover his mouth with his paint covered hands to hide his smiles. As cute as the gestures were, Miles was no longer seeing a future with him. “Um, hi! Who are you?”
“Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to… ha! Sorry.” He looked erratic with how much he shifted in his seat. “Just… photography.”
“What about it?” Miles said defensively, the rest of the group went silent.
“No, no. It's just that… well come on, I can't be the only one here that thinks it's such a bullshit art.” Geoff looked around the table to very blank faces.
“You probably are, asshole. What the hell do you do? Who the fuck are you?” Miles glared, well, if he thought he was getting a date and marriage proposal, the tattooed dickwad sure had another think coming!
“Geoff. A guy who actually makes shit instead of capturing it.” Geoff rolled his eyes. “Don't take it so personally. It's not like you do much anyway.”
“Geoff-” Mariel was about to intervene, until Miles cut her off.
“Says the guy who probably hasn't picked up a camera in his entire life, but sure, go on.”
“Miles-” Mariel’s irritation grew with the interruption. Still the two continued to bicker.
“Oh buddy, I was a journalist in the army and took pictures of shit that would keep you up at night if you saw it in person. I can take pictures. It took me a week to learn how to do it decently? Not art.”
“If you learned properly, how could you possibly not consider it art!? The rule of thirds, the color theories and shit, it takes time to line up and get the perfect shot-”
“Bah! It's nothing! Taking a picture is easy! You press a button and there it is for you-”
“-A perfect shot which may never even-”
“-Have you ever even tried to paint a tree? No! You haven't! You just point a lens at one and-”
“-You truly know nothing if you're gonna compare two completely different-”
“-You take a stupid picture and you call it avant garde while I spend weeks-”
“-two complete different forms! Both of which are valid and-”
“GUYS!” Mariel's voice boomed through the cafe, her first slammed on the table, causing everyone's cups to slosh around and clatter. Silence once again. “I… I think we've had enough debate time for today. Before everyone even got to introduce themselves. So how about we just let it the fuck go. Yeah?”
That was the first time they met. They had since debated even more of whether or not Miles was a true artist. Something about the camera just put Geoff off. He was happily willing to accept knitting and writing as forms of expression, but he refused to ever see photography as anything other than taking pretty pictures of stuff that hardly matters on its own. Unread of his pretentious opinion that all Miles did was document. He didn't contribute to the beauty. He didn't create anything from what wound up on his film roll. It was all happily provided to him by nature and the grace of god and all he had to do was take the snapshot of it. Geoff, he argued, was a creator. He took the paints and the canvas and he transformed it. Barbara took yards upon yards of fabric and made it into something wearable. Lindsay knew how to tie yarn together in such a way that she made practical items. But Miles? He didn't even make the film. He was a spectator. He was a hobbyist. He was never an artist.
Every trip out, Miles was reminded this. Days out to the park were met with Geoff behind his easel, painting a stupid still life of a stupid flower while spouting off his stupid opinions. His way of capturing the beauty of the flower was far superior, far more crafted than Miles’ way. Art gallery trips were met with his distaste that they even had a photography section, as he went on and on about the value of real, fundamental art. It was always the fundamentals with him. Every pompous statement he had was met with gav rise of anger from Miles. Deep down, Miles knew that was exactly why he said all those things. To get a rise out of him. And yet here Miles was, giving him exactly what he wanted each and every time. From the red in his cheeks to the bite in his responses. All Geoff did when he got this way was smile. It was infuriating every single time!
Miles wanted to prove him wrong. He wanted to take his camera and create a photograph so perfect, it was like a painting on its own. All he needed was a subject, and the perfect lighting, manufactured by him of course, and the right mood. An unedited shot that showed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was not only an artist, but a talented one at that. He talked in great detail about his mission among more polite company. He'd grown close with Barbara and Lindsay, in particular. They knew all about his struggles with the tattooed painter. All they had to say about it was just how concerned they were getting for the man's health.
“I'm concerned for your health,” Lindsay said over lunch one day with Barb. “You worry too much about what one guy thinks about your artform. So what he's got something against photography? He's an ass.”
“You do tend to obsess over everything he says. I don't think taking a really nice picture is going to sway him.” Barbara glanced at Lindsay with a frown to match her own. “It's… stupid to dwell on him.”
Miles narrowed his eyes at the two. “You think I'm obsessed with him? Oh no, this isn't obsession. Don't you see? This is drive. He wants an artist, I'll give him an artist.”
“He never said he wanted an artist out of you. He just said that you weren't one.” Lindsay pointed out.
“Well he's wrong, because I am. And I'm going to show it.” Miles said through gritted teeth. He looked too crazed for the comfort of the blonde and the redhead.
“Um... So. You've heard this sort of thing before, I'm sure. We all have. You're not a real artist. This isn't a real job. This is a hobby.” Barbara paused, choosing her next words carefully. “Why is it… different when he says it?”
“Well he's one of us! He shouldn't even be thinking like that! It's a betrayal to the arts, it's-”
“His own stupid, useless opinion.” Lindsay interrupted, eating a forkful of pasta. “Miles, he's literally doing this for a reaction. You're an idiot.”
Despite his inability to counter statement, Miles continued his pursuit of upstaging Geoff. For days he searched for that perfect picture. Rolls of film all used up as he furiously took pictures of everything and anything he could find. Nothing was just right enough, though. He struggled to find that perfect snapshot into life that would blow Geoff's mind.
It was bumming him out!
It wasn’t until one day, when the group all came out to help Mariel with a street Mural, that Miles finally found the perfect shot.
It was a sweltering hot day, the blank canvas came in the form of a brick wall in Central Austin. The only person who looked like the wanted to be there (and oddly, the only person who wasn’t a sweating mess) was Mariel, but it was good experience to see just how the artist made all her amazing designs reality. Everyone helped in painting in an already sketched out design. Mariel drew it out like an elaborate paint-by-numbers project, each individual sketched out spot was given a specific number for which places to shade and where what color went. Miles put himself in charge of the easiest looking parts, the light blue sky. Minimal change in colors. And he got to draw in the birds.
By 3 o’clock, everyone was exhausted from the heat, splayed out on the grass of a nearby park and taking advantage of the shady trees. All but one, Miles realized. For across the street, at the big brick wall with a half-done mural, was an tattooed man in cargo shorts, covered in paint, still taking a smaller brush to the wildflowers that lined the bottom corner of the mural. Miles watched him for the longest time, he sat up and after hastily wiping his hands on his own shirt, he pulled out his camera and snapped a picture of what he saw.
There was something compelling about what he captured. Geoff, all alone and still painting. The incompleteness of the mural. How the paints faded to red brick in unfinished places. When it was edited and printed, Miles couldn’t stop looking at the finished project. It told a nice story of commitment to work or something of the like, or maybe it just looked nice. Miles couldn’t decide what he liked about it, but it had to be one of his favorite shots.
Thus began a very strange fixation with taking pictures of Geoff when he went out with the artist group.
He carried his camera around his neck everywhere he went, still on the quest for more and more perfect shots. He couldn’t dare to use any pictures of Geoff to one-up Geoff, oh no, that was his pride on the line. But Geoff was quickly becoming his favorite subject. A night in playing cards with the artist group turned into a portrait Miles took from across the room of Geoff peeking up from behind his cards, a glint in his eye seconds before he laid down a flush. At coffee shops with him leaning against the wall, tall latte in hand, talking with Michael about something or the other. Snapshots of him in mid laugh so full of life, you could hear his trademark laughter if you looked at the photo long enough. By the end of five weeks, Miles had pictures of nothing but one pretentious painter and his beautiful, intricate tattoos. Geoff had no idea just how well-documented he was by Miles.
Also in those five weeks, Geoff was… less cruel. He wasn’t exactly nice, but he no longer tried to get under Miles’ skin. Miles didn’t understand it, nothing had changed much. Except that he talked less to the Geoff and the group overall. He was invested in his own project, finding that shot. Getting it on camera. Show Geoff how wrong he was about photography. One barbeque dinner on a gloomy day at Lindsay’s, Miles felt the gaze of someone while he was on laying on his stomach, taking a picture of a cat that had wandered into the woman’s yard. He turned and looked up, catching Geoff staring at him from the porch. For the longest time, the both of them were still, then Miles smiled, getting up and pointing his camera up at Geoff. He snapped a picture. It was all it took to snap Geoff out of his gaze.
“Argh! Don’t do that!” He broke eye contact with Miles, rolling his eyes. “I.. was supposed to check up on the ribs. Everyone went back inside, isn’t it cold out for you?”
“Kinda. But look. Kitty!” Miles let his camera hang off of him while he bent down and picked up the gray tabby cat. “He’s really fat, isn’t he? He’s collared though.” The cat mewed, as if offended that Miles would point out his figure.
Geoff looked briefly conflicted before he sat down at the abandoned table and chairs. “You ever thought about just… leaving that damn camera at home for once?”
“Nope.” Miles carried the cat over to Geoff and sat down next to him. He scratched behind the tabby’s ears, which was responded with a low purr. “Taking pictures is what I do! And this cutie was too cute to ignore, he’s so photogenic.”
“He looks pissed off.” Geoff replied flatly.
“That’s because you’re here.”
Miles dodged an arm swat with a laugh, and for a second, they might have at least appeared friends for a second. Geoff had a look in his eyes that Miles couldn’t place the meaning of. “You know, now that I think about it, taking pictures is about all you do. What’s up with that?”
“Well, uh,” Miles shrugged, faltering. “I guess I just see a lot of beauty in a lot of things. I wanna capture as much as I can, knowing that it’s not going to last forever. That’s why I like it so much. It’s quick. Painting takes time, you might miss a detail or something might slip by you. But a photo is, well, I guess you’re kind of right. It’s easy. You can capture an exact moment and it’s going to stay alive with you forever. The hard part is making sure you catch those moments before they get away. Kind of like catching butterflies in a net or something. You only have so many chances.”
Geoff didn’t say anything for a while, looking at Miles and taking all of what he said in. “That was beautifully put.” He looked away, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs. His hands fiddled about and he stared straight ahead. “When I was in the army, the stuff I saw through a lens was rarely pretty.”
“I can imagine reporting for the army wasn’t all… wildflowers and cats.” Miles swung mindlessly swung his feet before setting the cat back on the ground and removing his camera from his neck. He handed it over to Geoff. “Here. Try it now. There’s plenty of pretty right here if you look for it.”
Geoff looked at the camera skeptically, but took it and held it up to his face. He glanced around the yard for a few seconds, zeroing in on a stray dandelion in the grass. The camera clicked and he looked at the preview screen.
“Huh. Not bad.” He mumbled, tilting the camera towards Miles. “Wanna see?”
Miles looked at the picture and nodded. “Good. Yeah. A little out of focus… but good!”
“Oh shut up, Luna.” Geoff laughed and pulled the camera away. “What other shit you got on here?” He opened up the gallery, scrolling through all the different pictures. Miles was suddenly on high alert. He definitely had an old SD card in there.
“Oh, you don’t want to see any of my-”
“What the fuck is this?”
Geoff was stopped on a picture of none other than himself. Mid-laugh and taken today at the barbeque. He scrolled through and saw even more pictures of himself. All taken at different events and get-togethers. “...Holy shit dude, are you stalking me?”
“No! No, no! Not really! Fuck, shit! That’s what it looks like but no!” Several bells were going off in Miles’ head. He panicked and struggled to think of an explanation. “I just take pictures of things I like looking at, and you’re very… aesthetically pleasing. The tattoos and the eyes and… hair. Messy hair. I like it, I like taking pictures of… it.”
“My… hair.”
“No! Not just your hair! All of it, you, all of you. I just like your… look. That’s all. And you always seem to be the subject of some of my best work, so I developed this weird… fixation. Or something.”
“I’d call it obsession, but tomato, to-mah-to.” Geoff only seemed slightly phased. He shrugged and handed the camera back to Miles. “Well… thanks. I’m flattered, a little freaked out, but also flattered. I guess I can’t even fucking talk…”
“What do you mean?” Miles asked, confused.
Geoff sighed and pulled out his phone. “This isn’t some artsy bullshit picture, but I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it anyway.” He opened up his gallery and scrolled through it, flashes of progress photos of unfinished work flew by until he stopped, tapping on what looked like a complete painting on an easel. He handed the phone over to Miles.
It was a portrait. A smiling man with eyes half-closed and a wrinkled flannel, holding a camera. It was Miles. “...You painted me?”
“I paint things I like looking at. You take picture of things you like looking at. There. Now we’re even.” Geoff mumbled. “Now I won’t immediately go to Kerry and Kyle and tell them that you’re my own personal paparazzi, if you make sure Michael never fucking knows about this painting. He thinks we’re going to hook up or something, teasing me relentlessly over it.”
Miles barely heard anything Geoff said, he was stuck looking at the picture of a wonderfully done painting. He captured his likeness perfectly, all while still flattering him. He smiled. “I like it. I love it, it’s amazing! I won’t tell anyone about it, yeah... “
“Great. thanks.” Geoff rubbed the back of his neck, red blush blooming on his cheeks. “...You take good pictures. Really good. I haven’t seen something with my face on it look so nice before. I guess you got some kind of talent in you kid.”
“You… you mean that?” Miles grinned and began to feel bashful. “Well, I mean, I spend so much time on angles and candids like that are pretty complicated, I’m still new to the idea and-”
“Put your number in my phone.”
“What.”
Geoff laughed, elbowing Miles in the rib. “You heard me! Put your number in my phone, i’ll call you up for dinner sometime. You can tell me all about angles then. For now, I should really check up on the chicken. It’s probably all burnt and shit because you distracted me with your stupid cat photoshoot.”
“I… okay. Yeah. Number in phone, you handle the chicken. Yep.” Miles closed out of the gallery, putting his number into Geoff’s phone with a small smirk. He looked up while Geoff tended to the food on the barbeque. “It’s a date. Don’t tell Lindsay I said that. It’s a date.”
“Sure. it’s a date.”
The chicken was very much burned.
#Giles#ragehappy#Throwing this out into the world without any sort of proofreader to look it over#half of it was typed on mobile#I know there's a dumb autocorrect typo in there#I just fucking know it#Anonymous
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